Something That's Real
by Blau
Summary: After being rejected by Haseo, Silabus feels as though he'll never find the one for him, that'd he'd always be the nice guy. But then someone steps in... KuhnSila onesided HaseSila


_ Say what you really feel_

_ You know I need_

_ Something that's real_

_ I wish there was something inside me_

_ To keep you beside me_

_  
_

"I like you, Haseo."

Haseo glanced back as he kept running, stopping only when he realized that Silabus wasn't following him anymore. Wasn't even looking at him anymore, but at the grass, his hands fiddling together nervously. Haseo shifted so he was facing Silabus, a white eyebrow raised in a half-questioning, half-annoyed look, as Gaspard stood between them.

"I like you too, Silabus-" Haseo said, his tone giving away his confusion. Silabus felt his heart leap up in his chest.

"What about me, Haseo? Do you like me?" As usual, Gaspard had to ruin the mood. Looking down at his small pink friend, Haseo shrugged.

"Yeah. I like you too. Even if you can be a pain," he half-smiled to show he wasn't _completely_ serious, because there were times when Haseo would have liked nothing better than to yell at his guild member.

And just like that, Silabus' hopes were dashed.

Haseo began moving again, but Silabus remained. He had told Haseo he had liked him, but Haseo didn't understand. Haseo had thought Silabus was doing one of his "Canard needs to be closer, so let's randomly do something to better the team!" moods and was only declaring his friendship. Not his feelings that ran deeper than friendship. But that was understandable. As far as Haseo knew, Silabus was straight. It was understandable that when Silabus thought that Haseo didn't think of love.

It was...

Tears pricked up, and hastily Yuuichi reached up to brush them away from his real eyes. In-game, Silabus stood in the same position he had been.

"Silabus? Is something wrong?" Gaspard asked, peering up at his closest friend in The World. Looking up, Silabus saw that Haseo was waiting farther ahead, a hand on his hips as he watched the two.

Shaking his head, Silabus smiled. That was the good thing about The World. A smile looked real even if it wasn't. Emotions could so easily be faked here.

"Sorry! My PC lagged a bit. It's fine now. :)" Silabus said, and ran off to join Haseo. Gaspard blinked.

"W-wait for me, you guys!" he exclaimed as he ran to catch up.

-------

Once they had cleared the field, they warped back into town. Right away, Gaspard excused himself from the party, saying that it was fun and that he had to get back to Shop Acorn. He ran off, leaving Haseo and Silabus.

"That was fun, wasn't it:)" Silabus said, still his usual "cheery" self. Haseo shrugged, kicking lightly at the ground beneath him. He looked as if he wanted to get out of there, Silabus thought. Maybe Haseo wasn't that oblivious. Maybe he did realize what Silabus meant. Maybe-

"Oh, Haseo!"

A mass of purple and white sped past Silabus, moving to stand directly in front of Haseo. Haseo half-smiled in greeting.

In real life, Yuuichi frowned.

"Hey, Endrance," Haseo said. "When'd you get online?"

"Just now," Endrance said in his usual airy voice. "Mother... wanted me to get offline to eat. I tried to tell her that you needed me, but..."

Feeling as though he had been forgotten, Silabus left Haseo's party.

"It's getting late, and I have homework I need to finish. I'll see you later," Silabus said, his voice lacking it's usual brightness. Endrance turned, moving away enough so that Haseo could see past him.

"Later," Haseo said before turning back to Endrance.

Frowning, Silabus logged off.

------

The next day, Silabus logged on and immediately set his status to Busy. He was sulking, but no one had to know that. To everyone else, he was probably just running an errand for Gaspard or helping out some newbies. Not really in the mood to do anything, however, Silabus contemplated for a moment simply staying in Dol Donna before waving that notion aside. If he were to simply lurk in Breg Epona, sooner or later someone would spot him and would ask him what he was doing. Silabus didn't like lying, especially to friends, but he didn't really want to explain why he was "busy."

So, choosing keywords at random, Silabus warped to a field without paying attention to the field's level. It wasn't like he planned on fighting anyway.

As he warped into the area, he sighed and sat down, leaning against the stone hill that was next to the warp point. Tilting his head up to look at the night sky, Silabus thought (not for the first time) how realistic the graphics were. It really did look just like the sky in real life, although there were more stars, of course. It was almost impossible to see this many stars unless one was out in the country.

Sighing, Silabus stretched his legs out in front of him just as two people walked by.

"I love you, Haseo. With all of my heart," Endrance said. Out of sight, Silabus could only listen, not wanting to make his presence known.

"I..." Haseo paused, though whether he was contemplating his words or checking to make sure no one else was around was a mystery to Silabus. "I... you know... too. I guess." Even from where he was, Silabus could hear Haseo fidgeting shyly. Swallowing thickly, Silabus stood up and warped out of the field, leaving behind a startled Haseo and Endrance.

-----

He kept his status on Busy that day, and the next one, and the next one after that. He answered his emails as he usually did but had taken to lurking in fields instead of interacting with players in the root towns. It wasn't that Silabus had leveled anymore than he usually did, seeing as how he wasn't really fighting monsters. Only if the area was weak enough for him to take them on by himself, and even then Silabus would fight if he was feeling especially antsy. He had to get his thoughts out of his head -

_how Haseo didn't love him, how he loved Endrance, some guy he hadn't known for that long. Not really that long, anyway. He had known Silabus longer, and Silabus was even in the same guild as him. And how could Haseo love Endrance, anyway? Endrance was too... lovey-dovey for someone like Haseo. Haseo would probably get embarrassed by all the attention, wouldn't he? Although Silabus supposed not; Endrance and Haseo were dating now, after all, weren't they?_

-somehow and fighting was a temporary distraction. It gave him something to focus on, something where he didn't have to smile the fake smiles that he always did. All smiles in The World were fake, even if the person actually meant them. The whole World was fake, wasn't it? Nothing was really what it was.

His mood taking a turn for the worse, Silabus opened his menu and prepared to log out when a chime sounded and a short-mail appeared in front of him.

_**What are you doing? You've been Busy for three days now.**_

Glancing to see who it was from, Silabus was surprised to see it was from... Kuhn? But... why would Kuhn message him? Silabus hadn't talked to Kuhn in... a long time now. Not since the Demon Palace Tournament, anyway. Silabus knew Kuhn was busy with things - that was why Kuhn had left Canard in the first place, wasn't it? - and Silabus hadn't wanted to bother his friend. And while Silabus knew that Kuhn really did care about Silabus and Gaspard, he was still surprised to see that Kuhn of all people had been the one to notice that Silabus had been Busy for three days straight.

Obviously Kuhn was waiting for a reply to the message, too. Which brought up another matter: what was Silabus going to say in response? He wasn't going to lie to Kuhn, because despite having not talked to him for so long Kuhn was still a really good friend and would know if Silabus was lying. To tell the truth, Silabus wasn't exactly sure why he was still sulking. So Haseo loved Endrance, so what? That meant Silabus had no chance and should move on. But... the thing was... he couldn't.

Tears pricking up, Yuuichi wiped them away hastily before typing a reply to Kuhn.

_**Can we talk? I'm in ****Σ - Deep, Breaking, Wallflower.**_

Sending it off, Silabus set off himself to the warp point where he had started from. Almost a minute after he got the warp point, Kuhn came.

"What's up?" he asked with a grin. The grin faltered when Silabus didn't reply, instead staring at the grass yet again. Frowning, he asked, "You haven't... caught the illness, have you?"

At that, Silabus looked up sharply, eyes wide and cheeks tinged pink.

"No!" he exclaimed loudly, before adding softly, "Not for you, anyway..."

"Not for..." Kuhn repeated before realization dawned on him. "For who then?"

Fidgeting, Silabus looked backed to the ground.

"Silabus?" Kuhn asked, moving closer to Silabus. "Who..." he stopped, thinking for a moment. "Is it... Haseo?"

Blushing harder, tears gathering yet _again_, Silabus nodded miserably.

"He turned you down, didn't he?" another nod. "Tell me what happened, okay?" A hand lifted his head up, a gentle smile playing on Kuhn's face, silently telling Silabus to trust him. Telling him that Kuhn wouldn't judge him. That Kuhn would always be there for him.

Taking a deep breath, Silabus told Kuhn everything.

* * *

Wrote it awhile ago and am just now getting around to posting it. xD;; My writing!account on LiveJournal, **writingsofblau**, is usually the first thing to be updated when I do write something new. :3

The title and song at the beginning is from Yellowcard's song, "Keeper"


End file.
